THE RIPARIAN ZONE

THE RIPARIAN ZONE

While driving through the woods near a little known location called Gobblers Knob we came across a sign indicating the area to our left was a “Riparian Zone”.  That word ‘Riparian’ is one of those words that make the thinkers among us say “hmmmm”, and wonder as to the deep meaning of such a delightful word.  Now to those of the more educated in this world that word may call to mind the area adjacent to a stream bed.  However, those with adequate woods experience know the word has a much deeper meaning.  Did you know that Riparians are actually tiny woods dwellers with huge feet?  Did you know they typically hibernate from about the first of November until early spring?  If an unsuspecting hunter interrupts their winter slumber, these tiny creatures will crawl up to the hunter’s ear and eat some of their brain.  Just enough brain to make the hunter do something he might not normally do.  For example a hunter might accidentally leave his gun on the bed of a flat bed pickup to fall off into the snow as the pickup drives away (this coming from actual experience).  Fortunately these tiny beings are normally friendly and are only toying with the hunter.  Or maybe it’s because their huge feet prevent them from entering deep enough into the hunter’s skull to eat substantial amounts of brain matter.  At any rate, no lasting harm is caused by the little guys.  The hunter soon returns to some semblance of normal. 

The Riparians are interesting animals.  In spite of the size of their feet and the shortness of their legs they are surprisingly fast.  Typically the legs of an adult Riparian are no more than ¾ of an inch long with the feet being easily twice that long.  A full grown Riparian can easily overtake a full grown man walking in the forest.  The running Riparian, it’s said, appears to be gliding on it’s huge feet over the flora, although no one has actually seen one as of yet.  The prolific amount of information gathered in just one hunting trip would leave a person believing there was actually hard data to back up Riparian lore.  A person would expect to find pictures and video in multitudes.  To the best of my knowledge no such evidence exists, at least at the time of this writing.  So keep your eyes open as you walk about the woods in your area.  You just may be privileged to catch sight of the elusive Riparian.

As more data becomes available there will no doubt be further writing pertaining to these astonishing little beasts.  Should you have information you deem useful, please feel free to contribute.